30.3.12

Khwabon ke parinde...


Ude... my last flight was, well, who knows when... the flight of a weightless feather.. one without much load, without any muddle in the mind, without any purpose.. one that brings with it a certain feeling of unknowing and yet one of clarity as blue as sky devoid of cumulus, of purity white as swan... true, it has been quite long a time that my memory cells decided not to retain the impressions, and understandably so.. but am I flying again today?

Roshini mili... the brightness of the Cambridge sun brings with it a certain kind of lazy freshness that is tough to evade. As I walk past the emerald meadows, the breeze from the lake that wafts across my face, the only uncovered part of me, appears to steal away all stiffness in me, bringing about an elation that is reminiscent of the Pehla Nasha Aamir. A new place sometimes feels like a refreshing dip into a chill pond that opens up a totally new vista… and when you add to it, the warm companionship of your life partner that too in all its exclusivity, feels magical.. bas ek tum ho, bas ek main hoon…

Lagta hai ab hain jaage hum… to the music of my chirpy companions as I tread the path to the citi bus stand for my commute back home. I get glimpses of memory, years back, where the mind always found a balance - un-inundated, never unnerved. Yes, there were long phases of agony, of loss, but there was a certain peace I found in my silence, a calm in my pain. Where has that gone? Maybe, everyone undergoes this phase. Maybe the boulder of responsibility, that I once thought could never bother me, burdened me a little too hard, that I almost forgot the pleasantness of uncomplicated living.. maybe I was in a slumber that lasted too long.. maybe… have I woken up now?


Kya pata jayenge kahan… so true that life’s safar opens unending surprises every time you think the setup around you is nothing but mundane humdrum. Seeing the university crowd’s unending weekend fun well into the Cambridge night makes me yearn for a “give-me-another-such-stint" time machine. Witnessing from my balcony, the river Cam in all its orange splendour saying goodbye to the day, is quite an instant refreshment.
I can't but fall short of adjectives to describe the pleasure I derive from my evening stroll when I pause now and then, just to simply marvel at the “environment friendly” holi that the bright red bug celebrates by smearing yellow pollen all over her body, so as to welcome the arrival of spring. I have not a clue which colour the chameleon of life will assume next. Tomorrow is again going to be different. A different day, a different season.

Ab jeena humne seekha hai… not sure if I’ve even come a few light years closer to being in the state of “just” living. Maybe this blog is an orgasm of my newfound Cambridge lust, maybe it is just a flash that will fade back to the constricted “Venkyness” that I am so used to for the past few years… or maybe, I hope, this feeling is just going to continue.. long after Alyssa and Mohit’s vocals fade out of my ear drums.

Jo bhi ho so ho!